About thirty years ago, there was this guy called Hitler. You can already tell he is pretty badass because he only has one name, like a Pokémon or a rapper. Anyway, this Hitler man got really annoyed with some Jews because they said he was shit at art (he was). Because he was so angry, and probably also because he was short, he decided to kill lots of Jews by gassing them and hitting them with sticks. Essentially, he killed 6 million and a lot of people got really angry about it. No one really talks about or remembers Hitler anymore, because the world is constantly presented with new evils like Sarah Palin and the fact that a pack of Space Raiders now cost 5p more.
The reason I am reminding you of this little known "Hitler" is that in fact, he had some good ideas. No, I'm not talking about killing Jews, I'm cool with them (in fact my best friend's a Jew and the only time I ever gassed her was during an unfortunate dutch oven incident after a pack of Doritos). I am however, still referring to genocide. The victims? The 29,000 people who clicked 'like' on the page "If you love someone put their name in a circle, not a heart, because hearts can be broken but circles go on forever!".
|Slash 3 is more than what? Scientists|
are still trying to decode this symbol
of the new generation.
Simple mathematical calculations prove how worthwhile an endeavor murdering these "likers" would be. Statistical analysis by top leading social scientists has discovered that simply gassing the 30,361 people that liked the page "losing your cellphone in your blankets and then having to throw the blanket around til it falls out" would reduce the price of petrol to 0.16p in a matter of 4 days.
|I'm a real boy.|
The evidence thus clearly demonstrates the advantages of mass-murdering "likers". Whilst "likers" perceive themselves as "top blokes" "fearless bastards" and caring for the elderly, the more worthwhile members of society recognize them for the retarded, useless individuals they are. The inability to distinguish between 'your' and 'you're' correctly are often significant clues. Careful analysis often aids identification of those who deserve to be relocated to our death facilities.
Thinking Postman Pat, Dora the Explorer or Brum are anything resembling 'insane' parts of female anatomy also indicates that an individual is worthy of death. Most worryingly, these individuals appear not only retarded, but also display signs of first grade amnesia, as they need to be prompted to "remember" infamous characters that are still going strong today.
Further figures and analysis as to just how this genocide will benefit society and the world will be disclosed later this month. Anyway, I've g2g, I just clicked like on a page and now I am waiting till midnight when my true love will realise they love me, but I have to re-post the link to 5 other pages or I will have relationship problems for the next ten years.
PS. You should totally click like on this blog post. (I'll make sure you survive if you do).